Editor’s Note: Our fictional friends Jane and Zymir recall a disastrous turkey frying incident and plan ways to make this year’s Thanksgiving safer.

By Robert Ambrose

Zymir: Thanksgiving is here almost. We need to prevent last year’s disaster that my family experienced right here in Philly.

Jane: When the turkey fryer zipped hot oil all over the kitchen and started a fire?

Zymir: Exactly. The burns from the oil are so bad that my cousin is only going to partially heal.

Jane: Answer is skip the turkey fryer and buy it pre-fried.

Zymir: KFC does it for a living.

Jane: Popeye’s probably. NFPA would want it that way.

Zymir: NFPA?

Jane: The National Fire Protection Association.

Zymir: Oh…what else does NF… say?

Jane: NFPA says Thanksgiving is number one for cooking accidents.

Zymir: I believe it. All those weekend warriors.

Jane: They also advise the obvious.

Zymir: Like?

Jane: Stay in the kitchen when you are cooking. Move the kids out. Knives and matches are not part of childhood so keep them separated. Test the smoke alarms.

Zymir: Yes. My relatives on my father’s side received free smoke alarms by appointment from the Red Cross.

Jane: Same with my people. They called and made an appointment.

Zymir: Mine requested online.

Jane: Speaking of online, NFPA’s website has a kid’s cut-out: if you are not three feet, stay out of the Kid-Free Zone. Ha.

Zymir: Nice. Soon we will need that.

Jane: If we are blessed with kids.

Zymir: Well, I’ll call my family since we’re headed there for Thanksgiving. Maybe they want us to help watch the kids before the actual Thanksgiving dinner.

Jane: Great coordination. Baby-sitting to prevent accidents was not listed in NFPA’s website. But volunteering to help protect your young relatives is admirable.

Zymir: I just dialed into the NFPA website. There is another one that needs a mention: even one lit candle. Happens during the holidays. But folks cannot leave a child unattended with a lit candle.

Jane: Sounds like common sense.

Zymir: Americans are smart. But we’re a busy people and it’s easy to overlook something like that when you hear the phone ringing and you’re trying to do a third thing.

Jane: So, we will all slow down in our houses to enjoy the holiday.

Zymir: Sounds great. Sign me up.