By Robert Ambrose

Editor’s Note: Our fictional friends Jane and Zymir educate a family about fireworks safety ahead of July 4th.

Zymir: Time for our walk. (Zymir and Jane hold holds and leave the apartment).

Jane: Hey, look at those kids.  (They walk towards the kids).

Zymir: Yo’. You kids know how to handle that stuff? You look about 14 years old.

(The Parent appears.)

Father: Is there a problem?

Jane: There might be. Those boys look young to handle fireworks.

Zymir: M-80s.

Father: We bought them on vacation. Did you realize it’s July 4^th weekend?

Zymir: Yep. That’s why we’re going to the public fireworks downtown.

Jane: Professionally done fireworks viewed from 500 feet away is the safest bet.

Zymir: Hey, kids, don’t hold lighted fireworks in your hand. Yo’! What is he doing? (Looks and points to the garage.)

Boy #1: That’s my younger brother. He’s crazy.

Jane: Don’t light a fireworks inside a building.

Zymir: And definitely do not throw it at us.

(Younger Brother tosses fireworks in the grass where it smolders).

Father: Are you the thought police?

Jane: We read Red Cross materials to learn what is safe. Your kids need you if they are going to light fireworks. Everyone must be sober.

Zymir: And you need an extinguisher.

Father: Fire extinguisher? (Zymir nods).

Jane: Eye protection. You need glasses to light fireworks.

Father: Seems safer and easier to just go to the local fireworks put on by the township.

Jane: Philadelphia also has great fireworks. 

Father: Yeah, I grew up there. I saw it many times.

Jane: Every year fireworks in Philadelphia get better and better.

Father: ‘Been years since I saw Philadelphia fireworks. 

Zymir: Maybe take these young ones to see the real thing.

Jane: Hey, kid! Light only one firecracker at a time.

Father: Thanks. Being a parent is a full-time job. I need eyes on these kids all the time.

Jane: Just make it easier on yourself. Do a deal. Tell these kids they will see the real fireworks when they hand over these fireworks. Hide them and maybe the fire department can receive them as a surrender.

Father: Yeah. It’s just that…

Zymir: Tell them that way your dog over there and the kids can stay safe during this holiday.

 Father: Okay. Hey kids…